James 1:19 "...but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger."
We've all heard it said that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth to be used in direct proportion of each other but how many of us really listen twice as much as we hear?
We've all heard it said that God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth to be used in direct proportion of each other but how many of us really listen twice as much as we hear?
My husband is one who listens about 3 times more than he speaks which is great because I speak at least 3 times more than I listen. I know I need to become a better listener.
A teacher asked her classroom what the definition of listening was and no one in the class seemed to know. Finally, a little boy raised his hand and said, "Listening is wanting to hear." I think that is a great definition.
Listening is just wanting to hear what someone is saying.
A few tips on listening (try these and see how it goes):
1. Listen without interrupting. when you interrupt someone they perceive you as rude. Listen without interrupting.
2. Restate what someone says to clarify what you think they mean by saying, "So, what I'm hearing you saying is this...?" Then they can say that is correct or clarify for you. This will let them know that you are indeed listening and that you care about the heart of what they really mean.
3. Pause before replying. Give their words time to sink in. This also gives the speaker a chance to keep talking if they were only taking a breath or organizing their thoughts.
2. Restate what someone says to clarify what you think they mean by saying, "So, what I'm hearing you saying is this...?" Then they can say that is correct or clarify for you. This will let them know that you are indeed listening and that you care about the heart of what they really mean.
3. Pause before replying. Give their words time to sink in. This also gives the speaker a chance to keep talking if they were only taking a breath or organizing their thoughts.
4. Just listen. Don't try to think of a response for them. Just listen. This let's you really hear what they are saying and keeps you from interrupting them with your thoughts.
5. If you don't have an answer or solution don't offer one. If your opinion is asked, just say, "I like to take some time to think important matters over, can I get back to you on this?" This will save you from a quick response and let the other person know that you really do care about their situation.
6. Don't offer your opinion if your not asked for it. Most of the time people just want to process out loud...let them.
7. If you don't completely understand what the other person is saying and you need more information just ask, 'How do you mean?" and they will elaborate more on the topic.
8. Lean in, be there. Don't look at your watch, yawn, or change the ring-tone on your cell phone. All of these things communicate that you are not really listening and that you don't really care to hear them.
Remember, as long as your talking you can't learn anything new.
You already know all that you know....but you don't know what they know.
The best conversations have an even flow (like the tide).......back and forth......
But the best place to be (as the Bible reminds us) is in the place of listening.
So, that's your first Moment of Truth! ..and this is the first moment I've had all day...and it's because everyone else is asleep!
Quote: Dale Carnegie said, "You can make more friends in 2 weeks by being genuinely interested in others then you can by spending 2 years trying to get others interested in you!"
